I took Megan to see Last Holiday. I loved it. It was a touch formulaic, but the comedy was there and I really did just smile or laugh my way through it. Which kind of brings me to my next point:

Gerard Depardieu, who plays the MEGA SUPER CHEF, Chef Didier. See, I just read Memory In Death, and I have to say, I love reading the Eve Dallas/JD Robb books. I wasn't hooked when I read Midnight in Death, Silent Night Anthology (I thought Roarke was a pussy) but when I read Purity in Death I was hooked. So of course I had to go back to the beginning with Naked in Death, but that's besides the point. The point is Leonardo, the giant designer who is the foil to Mavis's tiny but wildly energetic persona. Don't you just think a YOUNG Gerard Depardieu would be good as Leonardo? I don't know... it's just a thought.

I just updated my "Books Read in 2006" list. So far it's January 27th and I have read 14 books since January 1st. That's approximately a book every 2 days. Yeesh. Scary. Some have been bad. Namely, Gut Feelings by Carnie Wilson. Personally I think she is a whiny you-know-what and I wish I could mail her her damn book back with postage owing, but that is just me. The beginning of the book started out well, you're entertained by her behind the scenes sort of viewpoint of the Beach Boys and the whole music scene, and you can see why eating is important to her. But once you hit the bit where she starts talking about drowning her sorrows in a quart of ice cream and how every fat person is fat because they CANNOT PUT THEIR FORKS DOWN, not to mention whining about how she was the postergirl for fat acceptance but really she hated that fact that she was fat... it gets dicey and then it get's down-right irritating.

I know I have made bad food choices, and I know that there have been times (like Thanksgiving or Christmas) when I have eaten an unholy ammount of food. But really, saying that I am as hefty as I am because I lack restraint or the ability to stop eating is just bullshit. Not everybody who is overweight is fat because of how much they freaking eat. If that was true I would be my mother's size or maybe a more reasonable size 10/12. I hate that. Oh yes, I have had my fair share of fast food and chocolate and God knows I love a good cheese, but I mean come on. I couldn't even power my way through a big bag of chips, let alone polish off some Ben and Jerry's in one sitting. I had trouble finishing a regular sized order of a hamburger and fries... and that might have been my only meal of the day. and, to show the world how f--ked up my metabolism was pre-op... the 6 months I spent having something along the lines of the following menu EVERY DAY I ended up losing almost 50lbs!! Yeah, 50.

1. 6 inch subway club with double meat/cheese, mayo, full veggies, oil and vinegar
2. 12 inch subway melt ditto (this to be eaten for lunch and my first coffee break)
3. chips from the vending machine
4. roughly a 6 pack of regular NOT DIET cola a day
5. water
6. a jack in the box ultimate breakfast burger with hashbrown and a large coke
7. kfc kids meal

Now, that looks like a lot of food and I am talking crap about not over-eating but that was spread over the course of a full 18 hour day. 1 would be around 6pm or so and 7 would be around noon, I was working grave shift.

Oh yeah... I had my umpteenth dr's visit with dr fobi today. I am now 338, down another 12lbs for a staggering total of 47 lbs in 45 days. :) Yeehaw.

This book just about killed me. Major weepies. Every so often Barry would look up, see me peering mistily into the book and ask, "Did the dog die?" Most of you would find this crass and somewhat harsh, but it was usually exactly what I needed to get me back on track, meaning, away from feeling like the whole world was ending.

I've only read a few things by Joan Didion, and yes, I did enjoy them. But it was wierd, to read this book, her life laid bare for the course of the first year after her husband's death. I couldn't help remembering how I felt after my grandma's death--- all of it. She was there, and then she wasn't. The vortex still gets me, usually at the oddest times. My grandmother was closer to me than my own mother, and there are days when I hope that I die before my husband, because I could not go through that again.

All in all it was a beautiful read.

---

Jan 14, 2006

So I have been looking to spend some online cash--- I have a $25 gc to webs (yarn.com) that is soon to be a Lantern Moon totebag for me, and $20 in credit @ kpixie.com which will be something, I am sure. Maybe a gift for a secret pal...

The yay! is because I just started my period RIGHT ON TIME! I can only hope that as my weight drops, my hormones will level out and I will have a regular freaking cycle for once...

me

My SP5 (knittycafe) was Kristen and I have received 2 awesome things from her-- thank you!!

1. a package containing some maple candy (which I had to give to Megan, because after I had 1/2 a piece I dumped, but you know what, maple candy is worth it. I'll save some for the next time I can't get to sleep... j/k) a note pad that said A Sheep At the Wheel and a Darth Vader mask with M&Ms for Megan, who made me refer to her as Darth Vader for the rest of the day. lol.
2. a gift certificate to Webs!! Wowowowowow! How cool is that? Now I have a total of $50 of internet yarn money just waiting to be spent!! Yeehaw!!

I also got my SP7 information and a very nice email from my SP7 who has a daughter that shares Megan's name-- How cool is that?

I had a oogey day to start with but the evening picked up. :)

TTFN,

Angela

No, I do not believe they go hand in hand. Much.

I used to be deeply patriotic. Deeply. I loved singing "Yankee Doodle Dandy" and all the awesome songs like "My Country Tis of Thee" and "This Land is Your Land (This Land is My Land)", "America the Beautiful" and the National anthem.

However. I think people take the whole patriotism thing just a little too freaking far when they vehemently pronounce that "If you think America is so bad, go live somewhere else!" And lately, I have heard it ALOT. Not because I am an embittered American or anything, although if you want to hear me get started ask about my husband's status as a legal permanent residence or how long we've been WAITING...

The way I see it, some Americans seem to think that America is a perfect and flawless country that is just freaking wonderful. They seem to simultaneously slurp up the rah rah bullshit they were spoon fed back in the fourth grade about how our country stands for democracy, all the while forgetting the stuff the learned in Civics. I am talking about oh, the right to free speech. It's because my country is so "wonderful" that I have a right to openly air my opinion. So why should I move to another country just to talk sh*t about the government?

And you know what the big stinker of it is? I voted! I did. I voted. So there. Guess what-- I have a right to talk smack because at least, at the very least, I got involved.

I am sick of hearing about how great a country we are. Yeah, we are wonderful and there's not a chance in hell that I would willingly give up my cushy life, my directv, my high-speed connection, or my right to talk about what a moron GWB is, for ANYTHING. But ladies and gentlemen, we are not as wonderful as we think we are. America is like the Old Republic right before the sepratists moved in and GW... well he's gunning for Palpatine's spot in the whole damn thing.

Anyhow, the whole thing that got me ranting was my truly terrible first day of class in Human Sexuality (Part 2 since I failed spectacularly last time). New teacher. Ugh. New class. It doesn't help that there's maybe 1 openly gay person in the class and the rest of the students seem to be card carrying members of the right wing. Like hard-core right wing. So this is going to be the hardest class I have ever taken.

Especially when the teacher out and out states that if a person FANTASIZES about something then eventually they will go out and do it. The wrongness of this LUDICROUS statement just appalled me beyond belief. I actually yelled at my teacher. *ouch*

That said, on the knitting front I am looking for a Julie and Julia-esque project to do. I am not sure if I want to say, knit a pattern repetition a day from the 365 knit stitch calendar, or follow EZs Knitter's Almanac, or do something zany like that. Or I could just get my ass in gear finish the mittens and move on to the monstrosity known only as the knitted bear fur rug. ;)

Yeah. I had a good day-- aren't y'all amazed? No knitting but plenty o dancing. I can't wait until I can get me some cute ass clothing because regardless of Barry I am going out and dancing like a mad fiend. :)

This afternoon I danced with the kids, it was fun. So here's a question...

What are your feel good groove songs?

Angela

puking and pooing. lucky me.

man sometimes it's hard to keep my bliss up when I am having oookie days.

but...

I'm gonna get thru it. :)

Yay! Yay!

nope didn't work.

I am bummed out. I f--ked my finances up pretty bad in Nov/Dec and now I am reaping what I sewed. Sigh. Barry is taking it somewhat better than I expected, he is the most wonderfullest husband in the whole entire world and I just love him to pieces. I go through these wierd periods where I am just so happy to be married to him and then I nauseate the rest of my family by talking about him and I get a "get over it you've been married X ammount of years" which makes sense, but it makes me happy anyways.

So yeah I screwed up $$$$$$$ pretty bad, but all will be better. Megan was talking to me the other day and she asked me if I had any money and I said yes, but I was going to use it all to pay a bill. So then she asked me if I would be out of money then.

This got me thinking. And my answer was no. Because as long as I have work, or Barry has work, we will always have money. We may not have enough money to get Starbucks and new fancy dresses (or books) but we will always have money which translates to a roof over our heads, food in our tummies, and the basic neccessities. I hope she got the message as clear as I did.

I still feel ooky. I thought I was up to driving more than 15 minutes around town and drove to Diamondbar last night. Ha! I thought I was going to die. By the time I got up to Barry's hotel room my stomach hurt so bad I couldnt breathe because it was completely tensed up. It made me cry and I ended up staying down there. Then this afternoon I drove home, which made me hurt and all I wanted was my bed but what happened but the phone was cut off so I had to go back out into the world (read: more driving) and get the money and pay the g'damned phone bill. WHICH, btw was completely my fault. sniff.

Anyhow... goodnight and good luck to everyone.

angela

Wow. I have recieved so much fun fur from people I am just thrilled. :) I wish I was more motion savvy at the moment cuz I'd be able to get their penguins out. I'm hoping for next weekend. Soon enough I will have plenty to cast on with.

I haven't picked up the needles since I cast on for the fingerless mitts from Weekend Knitting, but I think I will be bombing through them tomorrow.

Today was my first day home alone since the surgery. Megan was at school, Barry left for work. It was kind of distressing, but only in a "I should be doing more but don't feel like doing it" kind of way. I managed to do a sinkful of dishes and clean out my fridge/freezer, so I think I did a good ammount of work. I also took Megan to the library for her library card, showed her how to use the computer catalog and how to checkout books with the machine. Then we went for our evening walk with my neighbor Jeannie. We're doing pretty good. Since the day after Christmas we've only missed one night of walking and that was because her leg was swollen! Go us!! After the walk we went to a support group for weight loss surgery patients and then came home for dinner. I am knackered, so maybe I will stay asleep tonite.

ttyl, angela